Hold on to me
by Trinnerti
Summary: Pre-sequel of Left Behind. Sakura thought everyone was pushing her away. But there was still one person holding on to her. Oneshot, T-rated for safety.


A/N: Another one-shot from me, a pre-sequel from Left Behind. This one is inspired by the song Hold by Superchick, the lyrics are also placed in this story. I hope you guys like it. I dedicate this to Arcane Desires since she always have been there for me. I love you hun and thank you for all the things you've done for me.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

**Summary:** Sakura thought everyone was pushing her away. But there was still one person holding on to her.

**Hold on to me**

There are two kinds of people. People who'd never felt pain of being left alone or losing loved ones. And there are people who have felt the pain of being left alone or/and felt the pain of losing lost ones. The first category is still filled with innocent young ones who still see the world through rose tinted glasses. They still live without care in the world; don't need to worry over the loss of a friend or anything else. They are still naïve. The second group was mostly filled with shinobi who learned in their lifetime to deal with death, who coped with seeing their team mates and comrades fall before their eyes on missions and in times of war. But there's also the pain of being left behind by friends, the pain of betrayal and broken hearts.

Sakura Haruno always had been in the last category. When she went to the academy at the age of four she was teased and pestered because the size of her large forehead. She never saw her father much in her youth since he was mostly away on ANBU missions and had no time to take care of her. Her mother was there though, holding her when she got home from the academy and cried her heart out. It was then that she was already placed upon the edge of sanity and madness.

_Tell me that it's gonna be okay _

_  
Tel__l me that you'll help me find my way _

_  
Tell me __you can see the light of dawn is breaking _

_  
Tell me that it's gonna be alright _

_  
Tell me that y__ou'll help me fight this fight _

_  
Tell me that y__ou won't leave me alone in this_

At the age of thirteen she had felt the pain of losing a teammate. They were in the Land of waves fighting Zabuza and Haku when Sasuke was hit by a senbon that was thrown by Haku. It stopped his heart momentarily but it still felt the same. She remembered how she couldn't control her emotions then, even though it was a shinobi rule to never show emotions.

She had felt the pain of being left behind and broken hearted by her childhood crush Sasuke. He knocked her out and placed her on a stone cold bench outside and then left the village. Quickly after that she lost another team mate as he too left the village for three years for his training with the toad Sannin. She knew why he had done it, but it hurt none the less. She hoped now that both of her team mates were gone that her sensei would turn his attention towards her to train her to become stronger. But that hope was shattered when she heard he'd gone back to ANBU to await the arrival of his students. That was the first time she'd felt the pain of being left behind. And because of all this slowly she was pushed further over the edge and she nearly fell over it.

But the arrival of the fifth Hokage had given her hope. Meeting the blond woman was a bit of an intimidating experience for the pink haired teen, but seeing that every man and woman in the room held deep respect for her she knew she wanted to be just like her. So she summoned all the courage she could manage and marched towards the Hokage's office to request if she could be her apprentice; taking the matter of her training into her own hands. If her own sensei didn't want to help her, she would simply search for help elsewhere.

_'Cause I need, I need a hand to hold _

_  
To hold me from the edge_

_  
The edge I'm sliding over slow _

_  
'Cause I need, I need y__our hand to hold _

_  
To hold me from the edge _

_  
The edge I'm sliding past _

_  
Hold on to me_

To her great delight Tsunade accepted her request and trained her. It was a lot different than what she was used to. The training she'd had before she was always pushed aside, the boys of her team getting all the attention and she simply sat down and watched as she waited for them to finish. But now that she was under one on one tutelage with the Fifth she actually got to do things and she didn't mind it one bit. She loved the feeling of returning home, chakra drained and drenched in her own sweat from her workout. It made her feel that she was getting stronger to get her beloved back. Gave her the feeling that every day she made a step closer towards her goal to become just as strong as her mentor and not be the weakest link in Team 7 anymore. She gained back her confidence and a reason to train harder as time passed. Because of Tsunade she wasn't swaying on the edge anymore; she was pulled back onto soil, onto safe ground.

At the age of fifteen she became a chuunin together with Ino and Chouji. It wasn't her genin sensei that taught her the things she needed to get the promotion she got. He wasn't the person who had congratulated her after her match. It was Tsunade and Shizune who claimed that honour and they threw her a party to celebrate her promotion to chuunin. The silver haired jounin was away on a 3 month mission missing the event completely and only shrugged it off when he heard his only female student had got promoted. Sakura didn't mind. She had gained two mentors that were proud of her and never had left her behind in any way.

At the age of sixteen Naruto finally returned to the village. And just like her he had grown a lot. Together they'd beaten Kakashi in a sparring match and that was also the fated event that made them into Team Kakashi. Kakashi became their team leader and finally recognized the mistake he'd made in ignoring her when Sakura slammed him out of the ground with her inhuman strength. And when they'd brought the missing chain of Team 7 back home Sakura finally felt that she had her family back.

But it was then that it all went downhill. She was slowly pushed out of team Kakashi's missions. They claimed they didn't need her strength or expertise. She shrugged it off, thinking to herself that they wanted her to concentrate on her medical work back in the village. When she was pushed out of the training sessions she thought that they thought she was training with Tsunade. She kept swallowing their lies over and over. The alarm bells in her head being silenced as their lies prevented them from ringing like a sweetly addictive drug. Deep down she knew something was wrong but didn't want to listen, didn't want to see that she was only a spare wheel for them, someone that could be used before being thrown away. But slowly she was also pushed out of the regular friendly meetings and that was the final straw.

Sakura sighed relieved as she signed the last report for today. It had been hectic today in the hospital and she wouldn't mind a massage, her mother Hanu was so good at those. But first a cup of ramen sounded rather tempting. She frowned as she placed the finally finished report in the basket upon her table as she thought back to the earlier conversation she had with Naruto. The normal meeting with Team 7 at Ichiraku's was cancelled, but the reason why was strange. He'd mumbled something under his breath before he tilted his head up fast, smiled and raced out of her office. It was rather strange that now almost every meeting was cancelled. And she really missed hanging out with them. But since she hadn't eating ramen for quite some time she still couldn't resist a meal there. It was their loss that they weren't there anyway.

With a smile she hung up her white coat before stepping out of her office and locking her office. She waved at her receptionist and bid her goodbye and made way towards Ichiraku's.

She was lost in thoughts, enjoying the lovely weather when the noise of Sasuke and Naruto bickering filled the air. She stopped abruptly her head turning every way to search for them. But what she saw froze her from the inside. There they were, all three of her team mates sitting together in Ichiraku's, enjoying each other's company while eating a bowl of ramen. Her heart broke when she heard Ayame ask where she was. The simple reply given in return was that she wasn't needed and would only spoil the fun of having dinner.

She turned around and ran away as fast as she could. Her world and heart breaking with every step she took. She couldn't believe how stupid she'd been. How she swallowed every lie like a good child eating free candy. She couldn't take it anymore, all the pain she had felt when she was left alone bubbled up once again with full force, swallowing her whole and dragging her down into its depths. She ran to the place she always felt safe, tears rolling down her cheeks as made her way to the private training grounds of her and her Shishou. She had stayed there all night, crying like a wounded and fragile animal that had been wounded and lost its pack, which in reality was rather fitting really. She hadn't slept the whole night and when the sun rays touched the earth she'd stopped crying. Slowly she stood up and went to the highest place she could think of, the Hokage's monument.

_  
Tell me I can make it through this day_

_  
I don't even have the words to pray_

_  
You have been the only __one who never left me_

_  
Help me find the way through all my fears_

_  
Help me see the light through all my tears _

_  
Help me see that I am not alone in this_

She stood on the head of her own Shishou. Her thoughts racing rapidly through her mind as she stared down to the city below. How could she have been so foolish? How could she think that they would treat her like an equal and that she wouldn't be the weakest link anymore? She'd thought that the training with Tsunade had helped her grow, that it would give her the respect and recognition she'd always wanted. But it seemed it was all for nothing. They still treated her like she was still her thirteen year old self; the one that had a stupid crush on Sasuke, the one who was in need of protection and who was weak.

She had tried so hard to change, to finally get accepted by the ones that mattered most to her. But all her training, all her hard work had been in vain. Her lust for life and eagerness to fight for justice faded and only a heart wrenching throb of loneliness and pain was left behind in her heart. Why should she even linger longer if everything she'd done would never be good enough? She was pushed harder than before back to the edge, she was threatening to fall down and disappear. And this time she didn't want to do anything to stop herself from falling. If anything she wanted to fall, to be released from the pain that had plagued her for so many years.

She stepped closer to the edge, sobbing one more time as she stared down at the still peaceful village. She raised her hands up and closed her eyes, the tears that had built up in her eyes rolled down her cheeks with her movement. She leaned forward and she could already feel the wind brushing against her face. The sound all around her fell upon deaf ears as her feet left the solid ground. But when she truly thought she was lost, a hand snapped around her right wrist.

Her eyes snapped open as she hung in the air, only being hold up by a hand that was holding her back from her death. She was hauled up and before she knew it her feet touched the ground once again. But the grip on her wrist didn't loosen up. She looked up into the shocked and anger filled honey eyes of her mentor.

"What did you think you were doing?!"

Sakura inhaled a shaky breath while another tear rolled down her cheek as she told her what happened. When she was done talking she closed her eyes in fear of another rejection. But instead she found herself in Tsunade's warm embrace. "You'll always have me Sakura. I'll hold on to you."

_'Cause I need, I need a hand to hold _

_  
To hold me from the edge_

_  
The edge I'm sliding over slow _

_  
'Cause I need, I need y__our hand to hold _

_  
To hold me from the edge _

_  
The edge I'm sliding past_

_  
Hold on to me__._


End file.
